


Perry the Loser-pus

by deathishauntedbyhumans



Category: Milo Murphy's Law, Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Implied Relationships, Internal Conflict, M/M, POV Third Person, Season/Series 02 Spoilers, Spoilers for S2E17 Sick Day, Texting, Wordcount: 100-500
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 19:36:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16047164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathishauntedbyhumans/pseuds/deathishauntedbyhumans
Summary: After he and Doofenshmirtz “break-up,” Perry has to sort out some complicated emotions. Good things his not-friend is there to give him a good kick in the butt towards the right direction.





	Perry the Loser-pus

**Author's Note:**

> THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE B PLOT OF MILO MURPHY’S LAW SEASON 2 EPISODE 17 SICK DAY.
> 
> I can’t believe Dwampy is gifting us with YET ANOTHER gay dramatic breakup. 
> 
>  
> 
> _Peter’s texts_  
>  **Perry’s texts**

_So, you and Doof had a fight?_

The text comes, unbidden, very early in the morning directly after the argument. The… _break-up._ Perry glares at his phone, silently willing the message away. It doesn’t work. In fact, the phone vibrates again as he watches.

[Text Forwarded From—>Heinz]  _You want to help me, Peter the Panda? I need a sidekick so I can be a superhero and do GOOD. Not like Perry the Loser-pus._

Perry shuts his eyes tightly, rubbing fisted paws against them. He’d like to say that he can’t believe Heinz would do something like this, but… It’s _Heinz._

**I don’t want to talk about it.**

Peter’s response is almost instantaneous.

_You got caught on surveillance mode?_

**I said I don’t want to talk about it, Peter.**

_I’m not going to help him. That’s your job._

The reply causes Perry to pause. He and Peter aren’t _friends,_  but they aren’t enemies, either. They’re work acquaintances with a history, but that’s about it. He doesn’t expect any favours from Peter. Ever.

**You’re never this nice.**

_I’m not being nice. I’m being lazy._

That makes more sense.

_And I’m invested. Call me a fool, but I think you two will work things out. You usually do._

Against his better judgement, Perry finds himself plucking out a response and hitting send before he can think to take it back.

**Not this time. He was… really upset.**

_He’s Doof. He’ll get over it._

**I don’t think so. You don’t know him like I do.**

Perry has to pretend like he doesn’t mean that message to come out as possessive as it does.

_I don’t think I want to. ;)_

**Peter, this is serious.**

_Fine. Seriously, then, you should go deal with it. You wouldn’t want him to turn all evil again because he’s some overdramatic scorned lover._

**Scorned lover?**

_Yeah, yeah. Play all you want, Perry. Just go deal with it. I don’t feel like getting all his complaining messages for the next week._

Sighing heavily, Perry shoves the phone back into his hat. He hates to admit it, but… Peter isn’t _wrong._  The sooner he deals with Heinz’s hurt feelings, the sooner they can go back to being… whatever they are. Friends? They’re certainly not _lovers_ , despite what Peter likes to imply.

Summoning up all of his courage, Perry gets to his feet, glances around to make sure he’s still alone, and then stomps one foot hard to trigger the entrance to his hideout right under his foot.

It’s time to talk to Heinz.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos/comments are love! Come scream at me on tumblr @deathishauntedbyhumans


End file.
